Original Introduction to Apples of Gold - 1992:

Many years ago, I found a great release in writing.  Whether it was jotting down a few notes, making an entry in my journal, or writing a song; writing came to represent freedom to me.  I would use it to escape my reality; which was more often than not, rather unpleasant.  I�m fairly sure that some of that comes out in the somber mood of most poems in this collection, but it was the truth�so I wrote it.

The writing allowed me to experience things I otherwise would not be exposed to.  To make up my own reality as I went along, to create my utopian world.  Mostly though, it just let me comment on the state of my life and the things going on around me without pissing someone off or getting into an argument.  The paper never talked back to me, and over time it became a close friend.

Now, I�m not trying to say that I had this awful childhood and that�s what spurred me on to write these solemn poems; in fact that wasn�t really the case at all.  I had a fairly normal upbringing on Long Island and apart from the early divorce of my parents�and subsequent abandonment by my father�things really weren�t all that bad.  I was an only child for most of my youth so I had a lot of time to think, and I suppose that�s the primary reason that I�m somewhat pensive today.  Relationships�especially with the fairer sex�were my Achilles� heel, and most of the works included here exhibit that.  Sometimes I wonder if my youth of isolation contributed to my occasional inability to communicate with people.  On paper, I was expressive, emotional, and brutally honest; in person I was shy, introverted, and prone to mumbling incoherently.  Like I said, the paper never talked back�I wonder if that was a good thing.  

My affection for poetry in particular developed in high school during my first advanced English course.  The class instructor was a soft-spoken man with a kind demeanor and a razor sharp wit.  His silver tipped beard was well groomed, just as he expected his student�s writing to be.   His name was Eric Martinsen, and he�s the primary reason that this book made it as far as it has.  He, more than anyone, encouraged me to develop my writing skill after reading some of the writing exercises I had submitted.  I suppose like all great mentors, he saw promise in my work�even if I didn�t.  He worked with me to help harness the untamed talent and corral it into something controllable and directed.  Whenever I look back on those days, I thank him for the well timed kick-in-the-ass; it was exactly what I needed. 

Poetry became much more than a writing style to me; it became a way of life.  It was a way�the only way sometimes�to express myself and get the myriad thoughts out of my head and onto the paper.  I�m not sure if it was the rhythm of it, or the beauty in the verses, but I was hooked.  You�ll notice that most of the works in this book adhere to some sort of verse structure.  There are some free-verse works, as well as others that could be more accurately defined as essays, but the majority fall into a somewhat rigid form.  I use rhyme in a lot of my works because I like it; even though it is sometimes regarded�unfairly in my opinion�as somewhat amateurish.  I believe that the addition of a rhyming couplet into a well defined verse structure only enhances the beauty of the work.  In addition it makes it a little more of a creative challenge to find the exact word that expresses the thought I am trying to convey.  There may be one or two of the old Tin Pan Alley clich� rhymes, but I have tried to minimize those wherever possible. 

Every work in this book has a special meaning to me.  I hope that some of them touch you as well, and perhaps return you to a place in your life where you may have felt the same way.  Virtually all of the works here were written between the years of 1986 and 1992, during which time I was in that part of life we like to call the �angst-ridden teenage years.�  I have tried as best I could to clean them up for publication; that is, removing any blatant violations of Strunk and White�s Elements of Style, and fixing the odd typographical error or mismatched tense.  I am hoping that one or more of these works touch a place inside you that you�ve not been to in a while.  If I can do that, then I have succeeded in my mission; sharing my life�s experiences with you and perhaps connecting on an emotional level.

Originally these works were written only for me�a cathartic exercise that helped me to deal with the incredible emotional tidal waves in my life.  Most were created either for, or directly because of, someone else.  I found it amazingly easy to write with the proper inspiration, as if my raw emotions were guiding the pen across the paper.  Some of the poems in this book were written so effortlessly, I still read them with wonderment�as though they were someone else�s words; other poems however, I worked on for a very long time.  It used to be difficult for me to write unless I had a reason.  Without calamity or ecstasy, I was lost, unable to convey any emotion.  I wrote many poems off the cuff, without a real catalyst, but they always seemed forced�not to mention poorly written.  I have not included any of those in this book. 

The lyrics were taken from the best of the songs that I�ve written over the last 6 years.  I realize that some people have a difficult time appreciating lyrics outside of the context of the song, but since this is primarily a book of poetry, I decided to include them simply on that basis.  If they hold up to poetic scrutiny, then I know that I�ve written a good song; if they don�t, then I know that I made a mistake.  I�ve written well over 100 songs in the last 6 years, and these are the ones I like the most�believe me, there were some real stinkers in the batch. 

So, sit back and enter my world for a little while.  I am so glad to have you here, and I hope that you�ll make yourself comfortable and allow me to take you on a journey.  I will not hide the raw emotion, and I will try to be completely honest.  All I ask in return is your honest reaction to them.  If they make you want to cry, then cry; if they make you want to turn the page, then do that as well.  If they make you want to throw the book down on the floor and stomp on it, then either I did something very right, or very wrong; either way I�d love to hear from you.  Okay, it�s time to turn the page now and start the trip.  Let us share some of our happiness and some of our heartache as we remember our yesterdays.   

Ric Perrott

Long Island, New York

September 23, 1992